August 25, 2008, 10:36 p.m.
    what?
i hate it when i leave this place. it's been so long. this summer has been amazing. bup changed my life. literally. everything i've wanted out of life has been changed by God. he has such bigger plans for me than i could ever dream. and he's going to see them trhough. that makes me so excited for life. i am excited for a life following jesus.

i go back to school in two days. senior year. damn. i don't know if i'm ready. i'm so freaking sick of people asking me what i'm going to do with my life. i hate saying i don't know. i actually hate not knowing. i don't feel comfortable without a plan. but i feel like god doesn't want me to have a plan right now because he is going to move in my life and if i had a plan, he would probably change it anyway.

am i ready to be done with goucher? i think so. but i'm not ready to give up gcf. i'm not ready to stop iv. that's why i'm thinking about staff. because it's changed my life so much, i think if i stay involved, it will keep changing my life. i don't want to lose that.

i don't want to lose anything. after how many years, look how long i've been holding on to you.

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